Oh tay! So i havn't been on in a while. My silly puppy chewed up the internet cable =)! So I am at this place and using it, hehe! I think, achually, am almost positive that I know what God is calling me too! Oh tay, at school the other day, there was this sign that went up that said something about a missions trip to Hati. Those big, bold letters carved themselves into my heart. Everytime I walked by that sign, I thought that I was going to die! My heart just stopped, I wanted to break down and pray right there in the hallway. Wow, sorry, it just really upset me when my parents told me that I couldn't go because tehy were "recruiting 14 year olds for their dirty work" GRRRRRRRRRR!!! I would rather be eaten alive by zombies! (ok, that is just disturbing, not really) But people are DYING there. Even worse is that they dont know the love of Christ. Without the love of Christ, wow, I dont even want to immagine where I would be! Parents never seem to understand... sorry, I shouldn't disrespect them. I made a quote the other day=)...
"Small minds complain what they will never be able to do, average minds discuss what they want to do, and great minds shut up and go do it!" _stephers Mason

hehe, sorry, I really am retarded I think! well, I guess that makes me a pretty small mind... SIGH! I am sorry if you are reading this...

I am reading the book of Romans and I am loving it! I just started reading my Bible on my own time, and It is the most amazing thing ever! I am really sad right now for some reason=(... sorry, you honestly dont care, huh?

well bye! You are amazierin
-Stephers

1/14/2009

This is a picture of me and a cookie! It is my cookie of love=)! hehe

Hey Hey everyone! (even though no one even reads this...) Today was stressful, so stressful. It started the night before when my brother was caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. i love my brother so much, but I hate (yes, I said the "H" word) when I see the devil win in him. It torches me on the inside! I am going to turn into ash if he dosn't stop all of these horrible things that he is doing! I Just want to throw my arms up and scream sometimes. I know that I am sounding violent. What is hardest about my brother is that he says that he is a philosipher, he dosn't say that he is a Christian. I love my brother so much, God couldn't have given me a better older brother, but I hate (that "H" word again!) what he does sometimes!

So today I didn't go to school. My mom said that I wouldn't wake up, but I think that just didnt want to take me along with me not wanting to get up. Her and my dad have been having a hard time lately! i know that God uses our struggles to make us who we are, but I am having such a hard time seing the light in my life. Thankfully God showed me Tenth Avenue North. They are the most amazing band. I would have cried listening to them in teh car today, but my mom was there, and I didn't want to upset her. Their words go straight to me. like God is screaming to me through them. But I also thought that God was a gentle wind? I am just stupid I guess=).

Something that I am finding myself doing lately is, well, I have this little crush. I KNOW! I am horrible! I have never even spoken to the guy, I just go to a small school and know a little about him. WOW, this is getting awkward................... ...... ................. ..................... ok, so I find myself flinging myself at him. Yep, I'm a retard. I mean, If he was to say that he dosn't like red heads, I would break down and cry! I also have another crush, but I wont even bother to say anything about this one. so I know this is wrong, but I keep letting myself give little chunks of me away to someone who I dont even know. So I am deciding that if I am going to throw myself at anything, I should throw myself at God. Sorry for the long blog=)!

1/13/2009

this is me today, uglers as usual=)!

Happy day! I was up to just now doing Homework. So earlier in the day I was thinking alot about anger. Ireally see little point to it. Anger is really just getting your point accross without seeing anyone elses view. I mean, not all anger is like that. God has rightiousness anger. Like when all of those people were disrespecting God's temple, Christ got all angry. I think that only God has rightious anger. Sometimes he shows it through people though. I really cant stand to be angry. I love to laugh, not yell. What is the point of yelling. The person is standing right next to you (most of the time) I wish that I was lost right now. I achually like being lost. I know that I am strange that way, but it is like this time that I get to spend some alone time with God and rely on him to help me along with being an amazing adventure. Lately I have been feeling like a car on a cold morning. The key is cranked and it sputters and putters for a long time and then right when you think it is about to start, it dies. I am starting to feel like that with my faith. I have ups and downs, right when I found a clear path, and am ready to run to Christ, I fall over my ownfeet and have to start all over again. Well this is sounding depressing I suppose... I am sorry for today. I really am having a hard one... well, bye=)!

January 1, 2009

here is a picture of ugly me...=)

So blog time. Sadies is comming up at my school. Oh boy, here comes the drama. Girls are asking guys everywhere. My friend had someone ask the person who she was going to ask. She didn't want to show it, but I saw that she was hurt. Also, I don't really want to ask someone. I dont want to fall under pressure to ask anyone and I just want to hang out with friends (if I even go-yes I am VERY lame). Well, happy (very happy) that little part is over. Today I kept feeling like I was contained in bubble wrap. I wanted to run and sing and dance, but I didn't want to first of all freak anyone out and second of all, little blisters of this world are making me so contained, so wrapped up tight. I want to pop those bubbles, but it is so hard because I am wrapped up so tightly in them. Jeezerberadabersnabber (say that 1.7 times fast =)!) this sounds really stupid, but I am getting restless doing the same routine thing every day. wake up go to school, leave school, do homework, sleep, wake up. I feel like something is calling me, I just don't know, or do I? It is pretty late and I am getting sleepers, so this might not make sense. My parents were fighting today. I dont see the point in fighting. Just angry words screamed. You only see your side and It brings two further apart. I dont like fighting of any kind. So today was like every day, yet it was different. Better and worse. More delishious, ywt it tasted weard. i think that I am going crazy. I need to go hang out with God now. BYE=)!